MUSIC: Charles II: King of Bling - Horrible Histories

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LYRICS: Charles II: King of Bling - by Horrible Histories. Has to be one of the best.

Charles II rap from Horrible Histories series 2.
Music: Richie Webb
Lyrics: Dave Cohen
Performed by Mat Baynton

 My name is, my name is
My name is, Charles II! 

I love the people

And the people love me

So much that they restored

The English monarchy! 

I'm part Scottish, French, Italian

A little bit Dane

But one hundred percent party animal

Champagne?

Spaniels I adored

Named after me too

Like me, they were fun

With a nutty hair do! 

Is today my birthday?

I can't recall

Let's have a party anyway

Because I love a masked ball! 

All hail, the king! 

Of bling! Let's sing! 

Bells ring! Ding ding! 

I'm the king who brought back partying! 

King Charles, my daddy 

Lost his throne

And kings were banned

They chopped off his head

Then Olly Cromwell ruled the land

Old Olly wasn't jolly

He was glum, and he was proud

Would be miserable as sin

Only sinning's not allowed! 

When Olly died, the people said

'Charlie, me hearty! 

Get rid of his dull laws

Come back, we'd rather party! '

This action's what they called

The monarchy restoration

Which naturally was followed

By a huge celebration! 

The King of Eng! (Land say! )

No sin! Too sing! (Okay! )

Or anything! 

All say, I'm the king who brought back partying! 

Great London Fire was a whopper! 

In my reign, London city came a-cropper! 

So this king did what was right and proper

Fought the fire, proved I'm more than a bopper

I'm a fire stopper! 

Married Catherine Braganza

She was a love so true

There would never be another

Well... maybe one or two! 

Lucy Walter, Nell Gwynne

Moll Davies, Barbara Villiers

You think that's bad

But her name's not as silly as... 

Hortense Mancini! 

As king, I must admit

I broke the wedding rules

But who cares when I brought back

The crown jewels?

I reinstated Christmas

Make up, sports and even plays

I was the merry monarch

They were good old days! 

When said and done! 

King Charles did run! 

England for fun! 

I was the king loved by everyone

My song is done! 

Party anyone?

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Top: Mat Baynton as King Charles II, King of Bling.
Bottom row from left to right: 3 of the many mistresses, Moll Davies, Hortense Mancini, and Nell Gwynne.

Hortense Mancini and the Mancini sisters were pretty much restoration versions of the Mitford Sisters. Do check them out, especially the book "The Kings' Mistresses" by Elizabeth C Goldsmith. Further, The King's Bed - gossip is always fun if not completely accurate. Yes that apostrophe was supposed to be after the s, implying multiple kings and multiple mistresses!

Oh, and the actual Charles II:

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